Super Top Secret
We’re currently on a quest for a Jr. Writer. The kind of quest where you drop a bunch of peyote and go into the desert to find yourself—only we aren’t looking for ourselves, we’re looking for you. Yes. You. The snozzberries taste like snozzberries.
-Can write words like Cormac McCarthy on uncut Columbian coke
-Willing to go the extra mile—whether it means putting in a super long day to hit a deadline, or getting your bellybutton pierced to boost team moral
-Strong conceptual thinker on par with Plato in his prime
-A walking thesaurus with the ability to produce saliva stimulating synonyms in mere seconds
-Spit hot fire like Dylan.
-Knows Sugar Hill Gang’s Rapper’s Delight by heart
-Can hold your own in an argument in respects to the merits of improbable, and often geographically impossible animal battles
-Crafty in the art of jailhouse tattoo
-Send us a PDF resume and a link to your online portfolio.
Please send all materials to firstname.lastname@example.org